A year ago yesterday, I walked out the doors of my day job for the last time and jumped into my dreams of a full time freelance life. I can hardly believe all that has transpired in that time: I've learned countless new skills, taught some classes, and even got to work with one of my dream clients. This past year has been all at once terrifying, exhausting, exciting and just all around crazy. It has also been the most exhilarating. There were a lot (a LOT) of times I wondered if I'm capable of handling it all, if I have what it takes, if I really want to do this for the rest of my life. Then I remember that beyond the haze of doubt and confusion, I have total ownership of my life. Every single triumph and every single failure, they are mine. More than anything, at the end of the day I feel accomplished and proud, and that's worth all those moments that test your spirit.
The theme of the last 4 years of my life has been “pursuit” and now it’s starting to be “achieve”. I always kind of imagined I’d be stuck in the pursuit, so it all feels a little surreal that some of my dreams are coming to fruition. All the things I’ve done, all the things I perceived to be failures or setbacks helped me to get to this place right now, which is the place I’ve been dreaming about for a long time. It feels pretty awesome, and just makes me believe more than ever that you’re always where you’re supposed to be, even when it seems like you’re not - the key is to keep the eyes on the prize because eventually that big break will come through. It won’t come without a lot of questions and self doubt and frustration and, yes, failure.
I can hardly believe all that I've accomplished, professionally and personally. The hurdles of self-doubt and the floods of questions have only served to make me a better business owner, a more intentional and skilled artist. I am certainly still learning the ropes, I still have so many skills to improve and goals that are waiting to be accomplished. I am still learning the seasons of the business, and the seasons of my creativity, how to make them live in harmony. This journey has been all at once exciting, liberating and empowering. There were more scary moments than I was prepared to handle. And despite the many times I've asked myself "Can I really handle this? Am I totally insane for doing this?" I have never once regretted my decision to pursue life as a freelancer. I still have many moments of discomfort with the uncertainty about the future, but I cannot help but feel one thing: I am so ready to take on year two. Ultimately, this year has given me a strong sense of accomplishment, a deeper clarity on my goals for the future, a stronger focus on where I want to direct my business in the future, all of which I could never have predicted a year ago.
In the year to come, I hope to dedicate more time to teaching (something I discovered I really enjoy), to push my work and skills to higher levels, to travel more, to connect and collaborate with other creatives, to open a new online shop, to write and reflect more often, and to continue going after those dream clients/projects. Cheers to year two. Let's do this!